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30 November 2015

Following Framework and Intutition

Intuition and gut feeling helps us to attach a situation in our own way. The disadvantage of intuition is that it is not scientifically proven and it depends on one's character & experience. Most of the times, it might work and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't work, it becomes our learning.

Following a framework - the advantage is you can rely on it. Within the given boundary, it is supposed to produce predictable results. How the things are done is fairly fixed (it is supposed to produce almost same results irrespective of who is doing it). But the issues crop up when we do not understand the boundary (or rather underestimate the boundary). There is scope for learning by trying to improvise the framework.

Growth lies in using our intuition (new problem domain) and defining a framework to solve specific problem (that are recurrent).

29 November 2015

Switch - Book Review after first read

Title: Switch - How to change things when change is hard

I was browsing to find good books on emotional intelligence. While was browsing through the book reviews, i found one of the sites recommending Switch. I did a brief research on authors, their credibility and Amazon reviews. I decided to buy this book. Initially i skim it through about one third and i found that the book was interesting.

After about few weeks, i again started to read the book. Having heard about quotes and perspectives about change like "change is only permanent" and usual boring stuff, i found that this book was interesting. The book talks about change and why it is hard. Some of the myths i had about change are completed busted with sound reasoning. I tend to believe that i can approach a change scientifically if i follow this book (that is after reading only few tens of pages).

The book is split into three parts - Direct the Rider, Motivate the elephant and Shape the path. Each part again split in multiple subsections. First part is how to get started with the change, the second part takes about how to keep going and what to do during the change journey. This book gives you a framework under broader perspective and numerous case studies, success stories and clinics (a quick problem and solution - before reading the solution you are encouraged to solve it on your own)

Are you trying to change something - in life (trying to lose weight, relationships) or at work (take part in change and be a catalyst etc). This book is must read for anyone who wants to understand science of change.

This book deserves another round of reading. I feel i should take notes and use it as a manual, try out in real world and see it working. Books are investment.

I would give a five star (*****)

All my future posts related to this book will have the tag "Switch". Bookmark it if you want to follow my reflections - http://unstuck.grabyourfreedom.net/search/label/Switch

28 November 2015

Problem with a Girl Kid

The problem with having a daughter is that you think that she is your kid (and try to protect her) but she thinks you are her kid (and protects you). Beyond the command, the cajole, the cry and so many other things she does, she showers the love of a mom.

27 November 2015

Numbers don't define quality

How many people would read my posts and how many eye balls i catch? Should i write better?

How many people would buy my product? Should i have these features?

How many this and how many that? Doesn't it make sense to do only this since the number is low?

The problem with number is that it is quantitative. It is not qualitative.

Numbers don't define quality.

Quality precedes quantity

20 November 2015

Play your strength

I got the messages in Facebook. It summarizes what we should be doing - "play your strength" and "measure the performance when playing the strength"

How much we rely on the performance appraisal system (outsourcing our career) and how much we are ensuring that we are playing our strength (creating our future).

19 November 2015


How much ever i try to think, i cannot think.

Despite that i continue to think that i can think well one day (hope is eternal, remote possibility but there is hope)

17 November 2015

Daily Improvements

Why we often fall short of our big goals? Let us take an example of acquiring a skill.

When we are building a new skill (swimming) it is very important to be consistent (go to pool everyday). Every day we keep making tiny improvements and if you put things in bigger time scale the tiny improvements become big (tiny drops make ocean). This is not a rocket science.

But why are we often failing to make "big" improvements. Because of our nature of failing to recognize the tiny improvements we often end up not making an effort for the tiny improvement. The improvement or the increase is tiny and we tend to equate the tiny to negligible (often of no value). We give up thinking that it is difficult or it is not worth trying (whatever it is - the end goal is "zero").

Secondly, the consistency seem to very easy as long as it is consistency (you hit the pool and swim). Because the amount of mental effort needed is less (it appears to be easy). But once the consistency is lost (stop going to pool for a couple of days), the mental effort to bring in consistency is highly difficult (no room for context switch and focus should be spot on). It is mentally tough.

13 November 2015

Issues with Instant Gratification

Do you prefer smaller short term gain over bigger longer term gain? Do you prefer to get instant "pay backs"?

I see few issues with instant gratification. 

  • Instant gratification focuses more "pay backs" rather than the "actual goal". When you focus on short term "temptation", sometimes the efforts are scattered, sometimes leads to failure to learn at boundaries, leads not to see a big picture.
  • Gratification is always tempting and i think that is why most of us want to cash it instantly. 
  • Since i have already cashed, i see that there is no need to put more focus on the goal - i consider that i have already accomplished
  • Hinders continuous learning
Only a very few people overcome the temptation and look beyond few days to few months to few years (deferred gratification). You can call it a virtue or maturity. It is very difficult to acquire. easy to say but very very hard to do.

10 November 2015

Growth Vs Pseudo Growth

(Pseudo) Growth - Growing as much as someone wants you to grow. This depends on how much someone wants you to be tucked. This depends on your society (boss, society, wife and your dog). This is sure shot way of growing when you want to be good and it is safest.

Growth - Grow beyond boundaries. As you reach your ceiling, you keep pushing out, stretching your own limits. When you keep stretching your limits, you become UNLIMITED. It doesn't matter whether you are taller than someone or shorter than someone but you are UNLIMITED.

Choose you game :-)

02 November 2015

Pushing out emotions

Emotions are good and bad. 

Good - when it helps to build relationships (Love, trust, care)

Bad - when it doesn't help to build relationships. Often used to prove that "i am correct (and you are wrong)"

In a difficult situation (where i badly want to express something in that moment) when i want to get relieved (satisfying my ego), i used to burst out. For past few months, i have been selectively taking up not to burst out (otherwise - not to make an attempt to do something to simply satisfy my ego).

When i do not make an attempt, it often makes me more productive and happier than if i had to show my emotions. "moving on" is becoming easy. I seem to enjoy the new person in me and finding his new limits. These days i think that the best email is that is not written and the best words are that not spoken.

Push out (emotions) - to find a new self.